Reflections
by Hosh
Summary: AU. Tolle thinks back to his previous decisions upon hearing Lacus's latest song.


Disclaimer: SEED and its characters don't belong to me. D:

Notes: This drabble takes place in a world where Tolle never died. Where he stayed with Lacus and Kira at PLANT and the like. :D And many thanks to my good friend Saku for helping me with this BIG time xD

_"Kira!" Tolle called over the comlink as he flew closer toward the two opposing mobile suits, shooting at the Aegis with its lasers._

_"Tolle, no! Stay back!" Came Kira's voice from the other end. Just then, the Aegis leapt into the air to dodge the skygrapser's assault and threw its shield at the Alliance plane, aiming for the cockpit._

_Tolle's eyes widened as he watched the giant red shield spin toward him. He couldn't think straight—his mind was too panicked, scared stiff. His body acted on its own accord and his arm jerked the joystick off to the side in an attempt to escape. Aegis's shield only managed to hack off the right wing, sending the plane in a spiraling crash course for the island. Tolle blinked as he tried to register what had just happened, though the sparks jumping from the control panel around him brought him back to reality. Realizing that if he didn't jump out soon, he'd die when the plane crashed. On impulse alone, the rookie pilot unbuckled his seatbelt and forced the cockpit open before jumping and diving into the ocean. With the Strike out of view, Tolle wasn't sure whether or not Kira saw him._

_The faint and seemingly distant sound of an explosion could be heard as the Alliance jet crashed into the rocky side of the island. A moment after, an orange helmet burst out from underwater, along with its owner. Letting out a relieved sigh, Tolle reached up and pulled off his headgear, leaving it to float and sink, before swimming over toward the shore, which was only a few yards away._

These moments flashed through Tolle Koenig's mind as he wandered the beat and rundown home that, up to this point, belonged to Lacus Clyne and her father. His eyes were slightly wide as he slowly walked through the estate. Glass fragments and dead leaves crunched under the teen's feet as he continued to advance. His head continuously shifted from left to right slowly as he walked, taking in the details around him.

Bushes had been beaten and a few trees had been knocked down with their roots dangling from the base of the trunk, large, gaping holes left behind. A select few others suffered from being sawed down and were slowly dying.

Tolle ended up coming to a dead stop in the flower garden, or what used to be the flower garden. He blankly stared at the bare, arched fence and up at the orange-tinted sky, which signaled that the sun was setting.

'_Why did they do this...?_' Tolle asked himself, '_Is it because Lacus took Kira to the base? I knew... I knew I should've stayed, but it couldn't be helped... I had to escort Mariko-sama to safety and now Lacus is gone into hiding. I honestly have no clue where to start looking._' Sighing, Tolle looked back down and blinked as he heard the faint sound of rustling bush. Turning his head in the direction he thought it came from, he ran toward the spot before stopping. He then took the chance and ran through the dying plant.

_After getting back to shore, Tolle made his way cautiously toward the loud clashing and mechanical sounds of the dueling X105 Strike and the X303 Aegis. Once the two machines came into view, Tolle made sure to stay hidden behind a thick and large tree. He watched in suspense, amazement, and awe as the two mobile suits hacked at one another continuously, paying no attention to tactics and disregarding all care of their energy supply._

_A soft gasp escaped Tolle's slightly parted lips as the red mobile suit wrapped itself around his friend's for a second time since Heliopolis; though, this time it had no intentions of taking it back to a ZAFT ship. A temporary sense of relief filled the rookie pilot as he watched the enemy mobile suit turn from red to gray, its phase shift armor giving out and running on nothing. He had hoped that this was the end of the fight, but when the cockpit of the now-gray mobile suit opened and the pilot flew away from the gigantic machine, Tolle held his breath. Mere seconds later, the Aegis glowed a blinding color before it exploded, resulting in a deafening boom and debris from the ZAFT weapon flying in every possible direction._

_"KIRAAAA!" Tolle cried out desperately, a hand reaching out toward the Strike as it disappeared behind the smoke from the explosion. He was lucky he had managed to get himself into hiding. His surroundings vanished as the explosion spread through the area, debris flying with no regard of where they were flying. Tolle flinched as a large chunk of rock hit his forehead, causing blood to trickle down his face from the impact._

_"Kira..." As smoke rose higher into the sky and calmness became to claim the island, Tolle slowly made his way toward the slightly melted mobile suit, shaking slightly with wide eyes. "He can't... Kira..."_

Once he had gotten through, blue-green eyes scanned the surroundings for the source while Tolle absently worked on removing the stray twigs and leaves from his clothes and hair. The distant sound of a car engine could be heard from the main gate, but the teen ignored it. He was more concerned with the first noise that he heard.

Without warning, a familiar round object jumped from a tree limb and threatened to crash into Tolle's head with it's cheerful chanting, "Haro, haro!"

Tolle snapped his head up immediately and hurriedly reached up a hand to catch the hyper mechanical ball, "Pink-chan! Mou... I think you've been spending too much time with Green-chan." Chuckling softly, Tolle brought his hand down to poke at the pink Haro lightly.

The pink object merely turned to the side slightly like one would tilt their head when confused. With ear flaps bobbing up and down, the Haro happily spun around in the teen's hands, finally recognizing the brown-haired teenager as one of Lacus' friends.

_With fear and panic starting to overtake his mind once more, Tolle ran toward the mobile suit, around the debris of the Aegis before easily climbing up one of the legs of the Strike. Once he had reached the sliced open cockpit, the injured teen froze. There sat Kira, unconscious, injured, and crying. Without thinking, Tolle moved closer to the steaming hot cockpit and pried Kira's own warm hands from the controls. Carefully, he removed his friend's unconscious form from the pilot's seat and climbed out of the cockpit, welcomed by a cool breeze._

_The first thing Tolle did was take off Kira's cracked, blue helmet while checking for any sign of a heartbeat. Finding one, although somewhat slower than it should be, Tolle's shoulders slacked a little as he let out a huge sigh of relief. Kira was alive. Injured and banged up, but still alive. Tolle then hoisted the unconscious form onto his back and stopped to watch the massive white warship launch off into the sky. He figured that Miriallia was freaking out by now. Glancing back over his shoulder at Kira, he hurriedly made his way off of the mobile suit before aimlessly wandering the tiny island in search of some signs of human life._

Satisfied, Tolle smiled at Pink-chan before looking around at his surroundings to try and decipher where behind the garden he was. It looked like he had absently wandered a bit deeper behind the trashed garden and hadn't realized it until that moment. As Tolle puffed up a cheek slightly in frustration, one could tell that he had not been to this part of the estate. That, or he was not very good with directions; it was either or. It was most likely the former since he had been helping to take care of his best friend and making sure he didn't push himself too far.

As if sensing someone's presence up ahead, the mechanical ball leapt from Tolle's cupped hands and bounced off in what seemed like a random direction. Tolle, not wanting to be left behind to fend for himself, followed after while calling out the hyper pet's name. Of course, the Haro ignored Tolle's calls and leapt through the brush, startling the armed figure on the other side.

When Tolle emerged from the brush, the dark-haired figure turned and pointed his rifle right between his eyes. Tolle stood at a dead still.

"Athrun! That's not good!" Pink-chan chanted as it bounced around the two teens before suddenly changing direction and threatening to crash into the armed man.

Emerald eyes quickly glanced over at the incoming pink sphere. He knew he shouldn't move away from the seemingly suspicious teen, but with the Haro trying to make an indention on his face and his injured arm, he had no choice but to take a step back to dodge, pulling the rifle back as well so it wouldn't accidentally go off. If his arm wasn't injured, then he could've caught the hyper Haro instead. Not that it mattered now since he had already dodged the innocent, almost violent mechanical pet.

_After spotting the roof of a lonesome house, Tolle quickened his pace, slipping on the loose ground and nearly falling flat on his face before regaining his balance._

_'Keep going, Tolle. Can't stop now.' He told himself repeatedly, mud now covering his legs and the bottoms of Kira's feet. His breathing was shallow and fast as he forced his legs to run faster. Upon finally reaching the tiny house, the teen's legs finally gave out and he crashed onto the slippery ground, dropping Kira a little ways in front of him._

_"Nnh..." The teen forced himself up a few inches above the ground, his vision growing blurry with the light rain's gentle touch. Reaching out a muddy arm, Tolle tried to reach Kira to pull him back, but his arm and body lacked the strength that he needed. He let his arm plop down in the mud and glanced up to try to get a look at his surroundings. A weak smile captured his lips as he saw the fuzzy outline of a house as the rain started to pound harder and relentlessly._

Tolle blinked, having overheard one of Pink-chan's many chants. It said Athrun, right? Did it mean Kira's friend Athrun, or was this some other person who coincidently had the same name?

"Ath...run...?" murmured Tolle, absently holding out his hands for the Haro to jump into. Pink-chan complied and leapt into the cupped hands, spinning around so it could face the teen that seemed to be named Athrun.

"Where did you find that Haro?" The teen demanded, replacing the weapon where it had been between Tolle's eyes.

"Eh..." Toll stiffened as he tried to think of some sort of excuse that would let him get away. Though, he doubted that anything he came up with would work. He had suddenly come through the brush chasing Lacus' pink pet she's been known to have with her at all times, after all.

"I-I..." Tolle stuttered, trying to think straight, "I came back after running errands... Lacus—"

"You're coming with me," The younger teen declared, cutting Tolle off, "You're one of Lacus' accomplices, after all. Merely staying with her... is considered treason in Chairman Zala's eyes." Tolle's captor was somewhat hesitant to say it, as if he knew ZAFT's chairman personally.

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Tolle sighed softly as he slowly climbed out of Athrun's car. Somehow, he had managed to get himself caught at Lacus' old estate. It was probably because Pink-chan had decided to leap out of his hands saying, "Athrun! Athrun! That's not good!" But whatever the cause, the fact that he was currently in custody of ZAFT. It didn't look like it because of Athrun's clothes, but he was.

Upon hearing Athrun's soft yelling urging him to follow, the ex-Alliance soldier shut the car door and somewhat reluctantly followed the younger teen into the abandoned building.

Tolle spaced out as Athrun instructed him to stay quiet and not do anything stupid. He didn't listen—at the moment, the only thing on his mind was if he was ever going to see Kira again.

_When the minorly injured teen came to, it felt like he was moving. He began to stir, causing a sudden, but dull, throb of pain to come from his head injury. Absently reaching a hand up to the now-bandaged part of his head, the teen's blue-green eyes slowly began to open with a groan. He blinked a few times to clear his vision and register what he saw. He paused for a moment to look out the window next to him. A black void with various white specks of light here and there could only mean one thing. Was he... in space?_

_"Are you awake?" Came a somewhat deep voice from his side._

_Tolle jumped slightly and turned to face the owner of the voice. The man simply smiled, sensing a gaze on him. The teen blinked a couple of times, observing the man next to him. One thing he knew instantly was that he was blind. Not wanting to seem rude, Tolle replied, "Y-Yeah... But where...?"_

_"PLANT," the man replied, "We're going to visit Lacus-sama at PLANT. I believe that she knows your friend that I found unconscious. Not to worry, I have taken care of his injuries and he's resting safely as we speak."_

_"I see..." Tolle let out a sigh of relief, glad to hear that Kira would be all right. But the thought of going to PLANT seemed to bug him... Being an Alliance soldier, even if he were MIA at that moment, and going into ZAFT territory... Would that be safe? Hoping that nothing terrible would become of his trip to the space colonies and the Coordinators' home, the brown-haired teen laid back and closed his eyes, wishing that everything would work out safely without error and that everyone on the Archangel was safe._

The soft sound of a door creaking snapped the younger teen out of his trance. Watching Athrun's actions carefully, Tolle couldn't help but wonder what he was planning on doing with the rifle in his hand. Was he really going to shoot PLANT's pop idol...?

Foolishly and without thinking, Tolle opened his mouth to question Athrun's motives, obviously ignoring the position he was currently in, but stopped. A soft and gentle voice could be heard singing on the other side of the cracked doors.

"Lacus..." Tolle murmured softly, trying to listen closely to the lyrics of the new song the songtress was currently singing. Athrun, on the other hand, had already walked through the now wide open doors and was slowly advancing down the aisle.

The brown-haired teen followed suit, walking at the same pace as his captor towards the stage. As he walked, Tolle thought back to the numerous battles that he had been a part of while on board the Archangel. He pondered over his decisions, wondering if he had made the right ones. The teen couldn't help but speculate what would've happened if he had made different decisions at different times.

_After Kira had told Lacus what had happened on Earth with his killing Nicol, Athrun's killing Tolle, and their attempt to kill one another, Lacus smiled weakly and gently placed her soft hand over Kira's clenched one, "You've mistaken one thing, Kira." Lacus simply smiled reassuringly when Kira's watery eyes glanced up into her gentle azure eyes with a question showing clearly showing in them._

_"Wha...?"_

_"Tolle-san is still alive. Mariko-sama brought him here as well," Lacus took a small side step and turned slightly as she motioned with her free arm outside where her many Haros were bouncing on top of someone._

_"O-Oiii! Haro-tachi!" Tolle laughed, trying to catch the many bouncing mechanical balls before attempting to sit up, only to end up getting knocked over once more. "Green-chan!" Still laughing, the teen reached up and caught the green Haro as it bounced on his head before bouncing off of it and into his opened and outstretched hands._

_"Tolle-san!" Lacus called out as she leaned slightly out of the outside room Kira was in, "Kira's woken up if you'd like to speak with him!"_

_Leaning back a bit so he's looking back, and upside-down, at Lacus and grinned, "I'll be right there!" He called back, setting aside the bouncing Haros so he could get back onto his feet with a hand automatically reaching up to touch the bandages wrapped around his head._

After a lot of thought, Tolle knew that the decisions he had made had gotten him so much experience. He had made friends that he wouldn't have made if he had escaped from Heliopolis. He wouldn't know the things that he knew how to do—how to help pilot a huge ass battleship and how to pilot a fighter plane. He knew that if he had made a different decision than what he had in the past, he'd be dead, and the Archangel would have sunk a long time ago. As the pink mechanical ball leaped out of Athrun's hands, over the stage's ledge, and into the singer's hands, Tolle couldn't help but smile. The past had led him here to this point and time. All that mattered now was the future that lay ahead.


End file.
